Should vegans date non-vegans?

When you are a vegan, often the question comes up if you would date someone who is not vegan. For me personally, the answer is 100% yes. When I went vegan, I was still in a relationship with a non-vegan. And no, veganism was not the reason for us breaking up. The fact that I went vegan actually never affected our relationship in any negative way.

Of course, everyone is different and I can understand vegans who say that they couldn’t be together with someone who has a different point of view on a topic which is such a big part of their life, that they couldn’t be together with a person who isn’t living as ethical as them and doesn’t care about the animals or our planet in the same way. Some also say that the thought of kissing someone who eats animal products disgusts them and yes; I understand this as well.

Anyway, there are some reasons that make me believe that it is a good thing when vegans date non-vegans and also why you shouldn’t feel bad about it:

  • First of all: If you fall in love, you fall in love. Kudos to those who are able to control their  feelings that well so that they can just prevent falling in love with someone who might not have exactly the same views and values. Most of us are not able to do this, I guess. And anyway.. wouldn’t it be a little sad if we all fall in love in a “controlled manner”? 😉
  • If vegans only date vegans, the partner choice is very limited as there just aren’t a lot of vegans out there, we are still a minority. For most people it’s already hard to just meet another vegan in everyday life, so imagine how hard it will be to find a vegan partner. I can picture to myself that not a lot of people are willing to stay single half of their life until they find the perfect vegan partner.
  • Most of us have not been born vegan, so I think it is important to show some understanding for those who are still eating animal products. I believe that not all people “choose” to not be vegan but we are just brought up to believe that eating animal products is normal. You never know if that man or woman you fall in love with might go vegan one day which brings me right to the next point..
  • If vegans have relationships with non-vegans, that is such a huge chance to be a good influence. If you are a vegan, just show your partner how easy it is to be vegan and what delicious things you can eat. Cook for your partners, go grocery shopping with them, just teach them about veganism in any way possible. When they are together with you, veganism will become more normal and less “weird and extreme” to them and they might even consider going vegan themselves. And even if they choose to not go vegan, it’s very likely that they consume a lot less animal products just by having more vegan meals with their vegan partners and isn’t this already a great thing? Every meal counts.
  • You are not only able to influence your partner in a positive way as a vegan but probably also his/her friends and family. When they learn that you are a vegan, they hear the word and maybe get interested and do some research about what veganism is about, what they can cook if your partner brings you with him for dinner etc. This way, the vegan message reaches more and more people an the topic will be more present. People will become more used to people being vegan when it is talked about more.
  • As a vegan, you still can learn something yourself from a non-vegan. Yes, your partner might still eat animal products but maybe he/she does something else that’s great for this planet like living plastic-free, living without a car, supporting refugees etc. For me, being vegan is the most important thing when it comes to ethical and sustainable living but it’s not the only good thing you can do. We should always be open for learning about how others try to make positive changes in this world.

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